¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Spring:The Season of Life and hope

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿µ
2021-12-10 208

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is hard for me to say It's spring that is the most beautiful season (since I prefer winter), but It is. Before spring, a lot of lifes have hard time with cold weather. When spring comes, for those who passed through painful time comes out to the world and prepare to start their dance of life. This feels like a story of hope to me. For this reason, spring is the most beautiful season.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Justine!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


It is hard for me to say It's spring that is the most beautiful season (since I prefer winter), but It is. 

>> It is hard for me to say that spring is the most beautiful season, since I prefer winter, but it is. 

Before spring, a lot of lifes have hard time with cold weather. 

>> Before spring, a lot of lives go through a hard time with cold weather. 

When spring comes, for those who passed through painful time comes out to the world and prepare to start their dance of life. 

>> When spring comes, for those who went through painful times, comes out into the world and prepare to start their new dance of life. 

This feels like a story of hope to me. 

>> CORRECT!

For this reason, spring is the most beautiful season.

>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114392 Family is more important than friends. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114391 What do you and your family usually do during Christmas? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114390 Are these sentences grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 594
114389 What is your favorite place in your city and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 181
114388 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 209
114387 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 364
114386 Presentation script related to my work-2 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114385 Presentation script related to my work-1 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 3
114384 Presentation script related to my work ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 0
114383 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 0
114382 Why ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 541
114381 Go out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 4
114380 How important is farming in your country? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114379 Jane\'s Oral Presentation 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 503
114378 Jane\'s Oral Presentation 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 151
114377 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 375
114376 What are the similarities/differences between collectors and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 158
114375 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114374 homework ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 158
114373 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04