¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What would you like to change in the education system in South Korea and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2021-12-10 174

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What would you like to change in the education system in South Korea and why?

The education system in our country has been changed when I went to school.
The purpose of education gets into college in the past.
Nowadays, educations are improved active class.
South Korea's education policies still go along with the college admission system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica:) 

The students in South Korea are very competitive there's no doubt. Although, children have to undergo a lot of things to come this far. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

The education system in our country has been changed when I went to school.
>> The education system in our country has been changed since I went to school.

The purpose of education gets into college in the past.
>> The purpose of education is to get kinds into college in the past.

Nowadays, educations are improved active class.
>> Nowadays, education is improve to make classes actively. 

South Korea's education policies still go along with the college admission system.
>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114416 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 454
114415 What will you do on your next vacation? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 2
114414 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 2
114413 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 3
114412 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 0
114411 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 505
114410 One-fifth of Seoul youths experienced digital sex crime risks À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 1
114409 WHO Initial evidence suggests increased risk of reinfection due... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 1
114408 the pros and cons about eating a home ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 209
114407 How has technology changed your life? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 297
114406 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 0
114405 Was this year better or worse than last year? How come? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 313
114404 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 154
114403 Do you believe in \"good luck\" charms? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 1
114402 Why do people want to explore the space? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 285
114401 What do you think is the most difficult thing about being a... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 0
114400 Do young men also have body image problems? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 177
114399 Which is better, borrowing or lending stuff? Explain your... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 254
114398 How I take my grandma ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 368
114397 Life without holidays will be awful ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 197

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04