¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

12/9

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*°æ
2021-12-10 143

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that study is not for the college. But korea education is only for the college and bery coercive

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi No Jin:) 

The students in South Korea are very competitive there's no doubt. Although, children have to undergo a lot of things to come this far. They have to scarify a lot of things for education. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

I think that study is not for the college. 
>> I think that studying shouldn't be all about entering a good university. 

But korea education is only for the college and bery coercive
>> But South Korea's education  system is making it to that. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114979 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 2
114978 What is the best memory you have in school? Explain in detail. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 362
114977 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 344
114976 What types of diets have you heard of? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 311
114975 How is the law enforcement in your city? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 162
114974 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 0
114973 favorite tale À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 170
114972 homework: Where do you usually meet new people? ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 772
114971 Where do tortoises live? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 2
114970 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 0
114969 12/21 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 1360
114968 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 4697
114967 Have you heard of \"Golden Hello\"? What if a company offers you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 385
114966 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 1
114965 food waste ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 400
114964 What do you and your family like to do together? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 2
114963 What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 386
114962 What kind of cars do you think look the best? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 0
114961 What do you do in order to minimize the use of plastic? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 0
114960 What is the best memory you have in school? Explain in detail. Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 314

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04