¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What would you like to change in the education system in South Korea and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-10 123

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to change the system of having less P.E class and other special classes.
There are a lot of things that students must learn.
But in South Korea, most people emphasize only the subjects such as math, science, and English.
But there are so many things to learn more.
Teaching about other things about the world is also important as learning about math, science, and English.
So I want to change the system that having less special classes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

This is true. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

I want to change the system of having less P.E class and other special classes.
>> CORRECT

There are a lot of things that students must learn.
>> CORRECT

But in South Korea, most people emphasize only the subjects such as math, science, and English.
>> But in South Korea, most people emphasize only on subjects such as Math, Science, and English.

But there are so many things to learn more.
>> CORRECT

Teaching about other things about the world is also important as learning about math, science, and English.
>> CORRECT

So I want to change the system that having less special classes.
>> So I want to change the system about having less special classes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115705 Why I\'m not scared from mom and dad ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 373
115704 Book Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1108
115703 introduction script ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 9
115702 What special features do you think should be added to computers? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 236
115701 Do you think beauty is the same for every person? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 689
115700 Do you think Interstella can come true? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 693
115699 My bad accident\'s experience ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 350
115698 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 609
115697 Do you think that having a lot of money can make you happy? Why... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 323
115696 Why do some people like to have unusual pet? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 2
115695 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 1
115694 How do you \"call\" a taxi in your country from the side of the... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 655
115693 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 1
115692 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 4
115691 What special features do you think should be added to computers?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 1118
115690 What do you think about living alone? Do you think it is good or... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 1048
115689 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 474
115688 What is the difference between going shopping and doing the shop? º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 516
115687 Important ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 1
115686 No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 967

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04