¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What would you like to change in the education system in South Korea and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-10 300

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to change the system of having less P.E class and other special classes.
There are a lot of things that students must learn.
But in South Korea, most people emphasize only the subjects such as math, science, and English.
But there are so many things to learn more.
Teaching about other things about the world is also important as learning about math, science, and English.
So I want to change the system that having less special classes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

This is true. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

I want to change the system of having less P.E class and other special classes.
>> CORRECT

There are a lot of things that students must learn.
>> CORRECT

But in South Korea, most people emphasize only the subjects such as math, science, and English.
>> But in South Korea, most people emphasize only on subjects such as Math, Science, and English.

But there are so many things to learn more.
>> CORRECT

Teaching about other things about the world is also important as learning about math, science, and English.
>> CORRECT

So I want to change the system that having less special classes.
>> So I want to change the system about having less special classes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114049 Who always notices first when you make a mistake? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114048 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 463
114047 What is the importance of being on time? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114046 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 352
114045 1121 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 355
114044 11.19 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 0
114043 11.18 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 0
114042 Healthy eating ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 1
114041 How would you deal with an angry or irate customer? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 466
114040 How would you deal with an angry or irate customer? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 334
114039 Before corona pendemic ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 365
114038 I recommend ttaeok-bok-ki :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 276
114037 If I will go America ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 634
114036 Voice phishing ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 1
114035 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 311
114034 What are the importance of taking examinations? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 2
114033 climate changes ¹è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 334
114032 I think the most difficult thing about learning English ¹è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 1
114031 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 293
114030 What do you want to improve about your appearance? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 302

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04