¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What would you like to change in the education system in South Korea and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-10 381

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to change the system of having less P.E class and other special classes.
There are a lot of things that students must learn.
But in South Korea, most people emphasize only the subjects such as math, science, and English.
But there are so many things to learn more.
Teaching about other things about the world is also important as learning about math, science, and English.
So I want to change the system that having less special classes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

This is true. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

I want to change the system of having less P.E class and other special classes.
>> CORRECT

There are a lot of things that students must learn.
>> CORRECT

But in South Korea, most people emphasize only the subjects such as math, science, and English.
>> But in South Korea, most people emphasize only on subjects such as Math, Science, and English.

But there are so many things to learn more.
>> CORRECT

Teaching about other things about the world is also important as learning about math, science, and English.
>> CORRECT

So I want to change the system that having less special classes.
>> So I want to change the system about having less special classes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113035 What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 0
113034 1019 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 499
113033 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 426
113032 Busy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1
113031 homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 471
113030 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 674
113029 What do you prefer when you\'re studying, a small room, an open... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1
113028 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1
113027 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 466
113026 Describe your best friends. How do they look like? What are... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 4
113025 16 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 470
113024 24 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 410
113023 20 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 585
113022 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 460
113021 My hair ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 513
113020 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 616
113019 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1
113018 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 3
113017 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 2
113016 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04