¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The temple+(discussion of vaccine)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-10 220

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my city, there is very good temple. It was built in 5th century. Though it was burnt down by Japanese soldiers, but it reconstructed after that war. Because there are lots of treasures in the temple, so I think Korea in 15th century reconstructed it. And, this temple became the best place to go to picnic. The temple is good, but the park near the temple is also very great. So, most of citizen love this place and me too.
(I discussed in the class today. So I will explain how I discussed.)
Title of discussion: Do elementary school student have to get vaccine?
My opinion is agreement.
I will cite two reasons why elementary school student have to get vaccine.
First, vaccine can protects us from COVID-19 close to half.
Second, there was very few side effects when do clinical trial.
(Frankly, we did lots of questions to others and refute to others. However, it's too hard to express in English, so I will finish here.)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hi, Daniel! You shared a lot! I am impressed! Keep it up! However, you have to be careful with articles and prepositions. Please take note of the corrections given. 

- Teacher Debbie


In my city, there is very good temple.
>> In my city, there is a wonderful temple.

It was built in 5th century.
>> It was built in the 5th century.

Though it was burnt down by Japanese soldiers, but it reconstructed after that war.
>> It was burnt down by Japanese soldiers, but it was reconstructed after the war.

Because there are lots of treasures in the temple, so I think Korea in 15th century reconstructed it.
>>  I think Korea reconstructed it in the 15th century because there were lots of treasures in it.

 And, this temple became the best place to go to picnic.
>> This temple became the best place for a picnic.

The temple is good, but the park near the temple is also very great.
>> It is great as well as the park near it.

So, most of citizen love this place and me too.
>> Therefore, most citizens, including me, love this place.

(I discussed in the class today. So I will explain how I discussed.)
>> I discussed something in class today, so I will explain how I did it.

Title of discussion: Do elementary school student have to get vaccine?
>> Title of the discussion: Do elementary school students have to get vaccinated? 

My opinion is agreement.
>> I agree.

I will cite two reasons why elementary school student have to get vaccine.
>> I will cite two reasons why elementary school students have to get vaccinated.

First, vaccine can protects us from COVID-19 close to half.
>> First, vaccines can give us 50% protection from COVID19.

Second, there was very few side effects when do clinical trial.
>> Second, there were very few side effects during the clinical trials.

(Frankly, we did lots of questions to others and refute to others. However, it's too hard to express in English, so I will finish here.)
>> (Franky, we asked a lot of questions and others refuted. However, it's too hard to express them in English, so I will end it here.)
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114103 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1
114102 How do you understand the statement: ¡°Beauty is skin deep¡±? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 2
114101 Call ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 4
114100 I love it ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 288
114099 Who do you think is the greatest inventor of all time? Explain... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1383
114098 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 176
114097 Which musical do you like the most? Why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1
114096 homework. ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1
114095 Some people think that companies and private individuals should... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 184
114094 homework. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 6
114093 weekend ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 3
114092 What volunteer work do you see yourself doing? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 205
114091 essay about the \"what do we growing kids like to do\" ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 5
114090 If you had money to spare, what would you invest in? Why? ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 0
114089 What makes you sad? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 220
114088 (y)homework ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 0
114087 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1
114086 housing prices ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1212
114085 \"Experience is the best teacher\". Do you agree with this? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1
114084 Do you think things will go back to the way they used to before... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 343

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04