¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The temple+(discussion of vaccine)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-10 446

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my city, there is very good temple. It was built in 5th century. Though it was burnt down by Japanese soldiers, but it reconstructed after that war. Because there are lots of treasures in the temple, so I think Korea in 15th century reconstructed it. And, this temple became the best place to go to picnic. The temple is good, but the park near the temple is also very great. So, most of citizen love this place and me too.
(I discussed in the class today. So I will explain how I discussed.)
Title of discussion: Do elementary school student have to get vaccine?
My opinion is agreement.
I will cite two reasons why elementary school student have to get vaccine.
First, vaccine can protects us from COVID-19 close to half.
Second, there was very few side effects when do clinical trial.
(Frankly, we did lots of questions to others and refute to others. However, it's too hard to express in English, so I will finish here.)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hi, Daniel! You shared a lot! I am impressed! Keep it up! However, you have to be careful with articles and prepositions. Please take note of the corrections given. 

- Teacher Debbie


In my city, there is very good temple.
>> In my city, there is a wonderful temple.

It was built in 5th century.
>> It was built in the 5th century.

Though it was burnt down by Japanese soldiers, but it reconstructed after that war.
>> It was burnt down by Japanese soldiers, but it was reconstructed after the war.

Because there are lots of treasures in the temple, so I think Korea in 15th century reconstructed it.
>>  I think Korea reconstructed it in the 15th century because there were lots of treasures in it.

 And, this temple became the best place to go to picnic.
>> This temple became the best place for a picnic.

The temple is good, but the park near the temple is also very great.
>> It is great as well as the park near it.

So, most of citizen love this place and me too.
>> Therefore, most citizens, including me, love this place.

(I discussed in the class today. So I will explain how I discussed.)
>> I discussed something in class today, so I will explain how I did it.

Title of discussion: Do elementary school student have to get vaccine?
>> Title of the discussion: Do elementary school students have to get vaccinated? 

My opinion is agreement.
>> I agree.

I will cite two reasons why elementary school student have to get vaccine.
>> I will cite two reasons why elementary school students have to get vaccinated.

First, vaccine can protects us from COVID-19 close to half.
>> First, vaccines can give us 50% protection from COVID19.

Second, there was very few side effects when do clinical trial.
>> Second, there were very few side effects during the clinical trials.

(Frankly, we did lots of questions to others and refute to others. However, it's too hard to express in English, so I will finish here.)
>> (Franky, we asked a lot of questions and others refuted. However, it's too hard to express them in English, so I will end it here.)
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113344 Journal ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 856
113343 What is something that always makes you angry? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 689
113342 Why do you think divorce rate is increasing? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 378
113341 Do you think action movies are bad for children? Why or why not? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 2
113340 What do you think is the easiest thing about learning English?... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113339 Homework from the lesson 10272021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 529
113338 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113337 Do you agree that money makes the world go around? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 3
113336 What was the most enjoyable thing that you did during your... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 0
113335 Life without stars ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 345
113334 Go back and live ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 504
113333 ggguuuiiitttaaarrr~~~~~~~~~ ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 509
113332 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 344
113331 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 399
113330 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 3
113329 What makes you feel tired or challenged during family gatherings? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 2
113328 What\'s one job you wouldn\'t like to do? why not? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 2
113327 Do you think that music can help make world peace? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113326 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 322
113325 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 363

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04