¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think birthdays are important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-13 370

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, birthdays are important.
Because in a birthday, there is many meanings about a birth.
And also a lot of people are thinking that birthdays are important to them.
And I am one of the people so I also think that birthdays are important.
Also celebrating a birthday is one of the ways to remeber our parents.
Thanks for our parents, we are existing in this world.
That's why celebreating a birthday can be one of the ways to remeber our parents.
So I think all the birthdays are important to everyone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Birthdays are great. It's a day meant to celebrate your existence in this world. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

In my opinion, birthdays are important.
>> CORRECT

Because in a birthday, there is many meanings about a birth.
>> There are many traditional things to do during a person's birthday. 

And also a lot of people are thinking that birthdays are important to them.
>> Also, a lot of people are thinking that birthdays are important to them.. 

And I am one of the people so I also think that birthdays are important.
>> I am one of those people. 

Also celebrating a birthday is one of the ways to remeber our parents.
>> This is also another way for us to remember our parents. 

Thanks for our parents, we are existing in this world.
>> We should thank them because they are the reason why we exist in this world. 

That's why celebreating a birthday can be one of the ways to remeber our parents.
>> This is the reason why we can appreciate them more. 

So I think all the birthdays are important to everyone.
>> So, I think all the birthdays are important to everyone.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115531 What are you think about advantages of technology? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1384
115530 Comfort food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115529 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 409
115528 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115527 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 432
115526 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 541
115525 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 701
115524 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115523 Do you make an effort to buy locally produced goods? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 432
115522 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115521 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 392
115520 Can you give me one superstition in South Korea? Explain in... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 539
115519 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115518 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 2
115517 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 304
115516 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 571
115515 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 597
115514 Government¡¯s Help ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 258
115513 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115512 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04