¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think birthdays are important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-13 565

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, birthdays are important.
Because in a birthday, there is many meanings about a birth.
And also a lot of people are thinking that birthdays are important to them.
And I am one of the people so I also think that birthdays are important.
Also celebrating a birthday is one of the ways to remeber our parents.
Thanks for our parents, we are existing in this world.
That's why celebreating a birthday can be one of the ways to remeber our parents.
So I think all the birthdays are important to everyone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Birthdays are great. It's a day meant to celebrate your existence in this world. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

In my opinion, birthdays are important.
>> CORRECT

Because in a birthday, there is many meanings about a birth.
>> There are many traditional things to do during a person's birthday. 

And also a lot of people are thinking that birthdays are important to them.
>> Also, a lot of people are thinking that birthdays are important to them.. 

And I am one of the people so I also think that birthdays are important.
>> I am one of those people. 

Also celebrating a birthday is one of the ways to remeber our parents.
>> This is also another way for us to remember our parents. 

Thanks for our parents, we are existing in this world.
>> We should thank them because they are the reason why we exist in this world. 

That's why celebreating a birthday can be one of the ways to remeber our parents.
>> This is the reason why we can appreciate them more. 

So I think all the birthdays are important to everyone.
>> So, I think all the birthdays are important to everyone.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113530 Why is regret important? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 976
113529 Abebe Bikila : barefoot marathoner ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 509
113528 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113527 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 442
113526 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 425
113525 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 418
113524 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113523 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 568
113522 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 1
113521 If I don\'t work an engineer. ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 500
113520 1103. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113519 Since it\'s Halloween season, do you think ghosts are real? Why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 478
113518 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 712
113517 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 643
113516 11003 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113515 desert ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 402
113514 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 476
113513 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113512 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113511 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04