¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think of single adults adopting kids?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2021-12-14 1057

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that both single adults and orphans are suffering from loneliness, and need someone to love them. So families made up of these lonely people can comfort each other by forming a family. I think the more people who don't have a family to rely on, the bigger their loneliness can grow and become various complaints toward society. And It can be another social problems that we tackle down. In this respect, government should try to reduce the number of lonely people in society.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve! Thank you for answering your homework. However, you have to work more on sentence construction.

- Debbie

I think that both single adults and orphans are suffering from loneliness, and need someone to love them. 
>> I think that both single adults and orphans are suffering from loneliness and need someone to love them

So families made up of these lonely people can comfort each other by forming a family.
>> Therefore, they comfort each other by forming a family. 

I think the more people who don't have a family to rely on, the bigger their loneliness can grow and become various complaints toward society.
>> I think when people don't have families to rely on, their loneliness can grow and become menaces to society.
 
And It can be another social problems that we tackle down. 
>> It can be another social problem that needs to be tackled by governments.

In this respect, government should try to reduce the number of lonely people in society.
>> In this respect, governments should try to reduce the number of lonely people.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113752 HOMEWORK: What are the changes in your life that you enjoy now? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113751 I am proud of our language that name ¡®s ¡°Hangul¡± ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 430
113750 It is very important ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 323
113749 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 408
113748 My husband ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113747 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 435
113746 Choice between sleeping and eating °­* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 2
113745 Homework. °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113744 homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 631
113743 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 0
113742 1110 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113741 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 356
113740 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113739 Do you have any collections? Tell me about it. If not, what... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 289
113738 What part of your Korean history is your favorite? Explain why. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 0
113737 What do you think is the biggest problem your country is facing... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 0
113736 Which one more than like ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 329
113735 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 334
113734 What will you do this weekend? ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 382
113733 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04