¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Bithday is special day:)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-14 440

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was very young, I feel birthday is so special day. Now it's just normal.
A few days ago it's my birthday, but I'm just celebrating my birthday with only my mother.
Next day of birthday, my best friends came my home, and celebrate one more time.
It's very adorable and thankful.
But it was fun, but I don't have as much expectation for my birthday as when I was young.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Birthdays are great. It's a day meant to celebrate your existence in this world. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

When I was very young, I feel birthday is so special day. 
>> When I was very young, I felt that birthday are so special day. 

Now it's just normal.
>> Now, it's just normal. 

A few days ago it's my birthday, but I'm just celebrating my birthday with only my mother.
>> A few days ago, it was my birthday, but I just celebrated it with my mother. 

Next day of birthday, my best friends came my home, and celebrate one more time.
>> The next day, my best friends came my home and we celebrated one more time. 

It's very adorable and thankful.
>> It's very adorable and I felt thankful. 

But it was fun, but I don't have as much expectation for my birthday as when I was young.
>> It was fun, but I don't have as much expectation for my birthday as when I was young.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113612 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 286
113611 What website do you often use and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 393
113610 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 506
113609 Do you think the rich should always give money to the poor? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 1
113608 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 621
113607 Recent research suggests that the majority of criminals who are... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 706
113606 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 325
113605 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 450
113604 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 472
113603 What would your life be like without your mobile telephone? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 1
113602 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 262
113601 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 479
113600 Why I like a children\'s day. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 414
113599 Why is it hard to stop a vice? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 300
113598 Sales Person À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 802
113597 How do you feel after exercising? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 631
113596 Hire Employees À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 703
113595 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 1335
113594 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 664
113593 What are working conditions like in your country? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 377

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04