¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the meaning of my birthday

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-12-15 540

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think my birthday is quite important and meaningful.
For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and given gifts by my family or friends.
However, my idea have changed a little since I was in my 30s.
This is because it was a hard day for my parents to make me in the hospital.
Whenever my birthday approaches, I am grateful for my parents' dedication and love.
So, on my birthday, I call my parents first to thank them.
This is because the place where they live is far away.
I was able to learn these meaningful thoughts from my wife.
Usually, on birthdays, my family usually ate out or gathered together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

Birthdays are great. It's a day meant to celebrate your existence in this world. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise


I think my birthday is quite important and meaningful.
>> CORRECT

For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and given gifts by my family or friends.
>> For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and be given gifts by my family or friends.

However, my idea have changed a little since I was in my 30s.
>> However, my idea has changed a little since I was in my 30's.

This is because it was a hard day for my parents to make me in the hospital.
>> This is because it was a hard day for my parents to give birth of me in the hospital. 

Whenever my birthday approaches, I am grateful for my parents' dedication and love.
>> Whenever my birthday approaches, I feel grateful for my parents' dedication and love.

So, on my birthday, I call my parents first to thank them.
>> CORRECT

This is because the place where they live is far away.
>>This is because they live far away from me. 

I was able to learn these meaningful thoughts from my wife.
>> CORRECT

Usually, on birthdays, my family usually ate out or gathered together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.
>> Usually, on birthdays, my family eats out or gather together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118725 Where do you mostly get annoyed? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 681
118724 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 1
118723 Homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 464
118722 Country À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 480
118721 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 0
118720 What could be some of the reasons why people don\'t want to get... ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 688
118719 My jealousy ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 542
118718 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 1
118717 What band or musician do you want to see perform live on stage? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 0
118716 Why homework is important? ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 2
118715 The best movie I have ever seen is with God Because it was... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 419
118714 Morning rush hour ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 4
118713 What is your favorite sense? Give some examples why it is so... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 539
118712 If you can recommend a Korean dish to a foreigner, what would it... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 490
118711 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 433
118710 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 425
118709 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 408
118708 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 478
118707 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 1
118706 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04