¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the meaning of my birthday

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-12-15 449

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think my birthday is quite important and meaningful.
For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and given gifts by my family or friends.
However, my idea have changed a little since I was in my 30s.
This is because it was a hard day for my parents to make me in the hospital.
Whenever my birthday approaches, I am grateful for my parents' dedication and love.
So, on my birthday, I call my parents first to thank them.
This is because the place where they live is far away.
I was able to learn these meaningful thoughts from my wife.
Usually, on birthdays, my family usually ate out or gathered together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

Birthdays are great. It's a day meant to celebrate your existence in this world. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise


I think my birthday is quite important and meaningful.
>> CORRECT

For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and given gifts by my family or friends.
>> For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and be given gifts by my family or friends.

However, my idea have changed a little since I was in my 30s.
>> However, my idea has changed a little since I was in my 30's.

This is because it was a hard day for my parents to make me in the hospital.
>> This is because it was a hard day for my parents to give birth of me in the hospital. 

Whenever my birthday approaches, I am grateful for my parents' dedication and love.
>> Whenever my birthday approaches, I feel grateful for my parents' dedication and love.

So, on my birthday, I call my parents first to thank them.
>> CORRECT

This is because the place where they live is far away.
>>This is because they live far away from me. 

I was able to learn these meaningful thoughts from my wife.
>> CORRECT

Usually, on birthdays, my family usually ate out or gathered together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.
>> Usually, on birthdays, my family eats out or gather together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117689 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 705
117688 If you could have any food right now, what would it be? And why? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1666
117687 Would you rather live in a house or an apartment? Why or why... ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 933
117686 Good evening °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 994
117685 Which one is better, studying abroad or studying in South Korea?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1028
117684 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 807
117683 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1092
117682 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117681 House and apartment. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1075
117680 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1135
117679 I will advise them to stop smoking. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 843
117678 In Korea! ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 804
117677 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 2
117676 What are your expectations to your host family aside from being... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117675 Definition Of Soul Matters ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1462
117674 office ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 750
117673 Answer to \"How will you stay fit in the U.S. when all the food... ¹Ý*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117672 Homework °í*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 885
117671 2022.3.23 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 814
117670 2022.3.22 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 923

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04