¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the meaning of my birthday

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-12-15 433

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think my birthday is quite important and meaningful.
For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and given gifts by my family or friends.
However, my idea have changed a little since I was in my 30s.
This is because it was a hard day for my parents to make me in the hospital.
Whenever my birthday approaches, I am grateful for my parents' dedication and love.
So, on my birthday, I call my parents first to thank them.
This is because the place where they live is far away.
I was able to learn these meaningful thoughts from my wife.
Usually, on birthdays, my family usually ate out or gathered together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

Birthdays are great. It's a day meant to celebrate your existence in this world. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise


I think my birthday is quite important and meaningful.
>> CORRECT

For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and given gifts by my family or friends.
>> For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and be given gifts by my family or friends.

However, my idea have changed a little since I was in my 30s.
>> However, my idea has changed a little since I was in my 30's.

This is because it was a hard day for my parents to make me in the hospital.
>> This is because it was a hard day for my parents to give birth of me in the hospital. 

Whenever my birthday approaches, I am grateful for my parents' dedication and love.
>> Whenever my birthday approaches, I feel grateful for my parents' dedication and love.

So, on my birthday, I call my parents first to thank them.
>> CORRECT

This is because the place where they live is far away.
>>This is because they live far away from me. 

I was able to learn these meaningful thoughts from my wife.
>> CORRECT

Usually, on birthdays, my family usually ate out or gathered together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.
>> Usually, on birthdays, my family eats out or gather together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117262 Have you ever eaten something that made you ill? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 1207
117261 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 402
117260 First homework : Things that make me happy. À±*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 496
117259 Give 5 road signs that I know. ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 512
117258 What is your reaction now that Yoon Seok-youl is the new... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 709
117257 What is your reaction now that Yoon Seok-youl is the new... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117256 I don\'t have any trust to him... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 855
117255 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 868
117254 words ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 534
117253 If we don\'t have a social media app at all. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 418
117252 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 470
117251 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 501
117250 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 7
117249 Are you willing to die for your country? Share your ideas in a... ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 1
117248 What is your reaction now that Yoon Seok-youl is the new... ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 762
117247 lesson 12 ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 1026
117246 If you could receive one thing in the whole world as a present... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 1509
117245 Russia\'s new bond rules pile pressure on Korean firms À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117244 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 1148
117243 What is your reaction now that Yoon Seok-youl is the new... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 414

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04