¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the meaning of my birthday

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-12-15 387

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think my birthday is quite important and meaningful.
For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and given gifts by my family or friends.
However, my idea have changed a little since I was in my 30s.
This is because it was a hard day for my parents to make me in the hospital.
Whenever my birthday approaches, I am grateful for my parents' dedication and love.
So, on my birthday, I call my parents first to thank them.
This is because the place where they live is far away.
I was able to learn these meaningful thoughts from my wife.
Usually, on birthdays, my family usually ate out or gathered together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

Birthdays are great. It's a day meant to celebrate your existence in this world. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise


I think my birthday is quite important and meaningful.
>> CORRECT

For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and given gifts by my family or friends.
>> For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and be given gifts by my family or friends.

However, my idea have changed a little since I was in my 30s.
>> However, my idea has changed a little since I was in my 30's.

This is because it was a hard day for my parents to make me in the hospital.
>> This is because it was a hard day for my parents to give birth of me in the hospital. 

Whenever my birthday approaches, I am grateful for my parents' dedication and love.
>> Whenever my birthday approaches, I feel grateful for my parents' dedication and love.

So, on my birthday, I call my parents first to thank them.
>> CORRECT

This is because the place where they live is far away.
>>This is because they live far away from me. 

I was able to learn these meaningful thoughts from my wife.
>> CORRECT

Usually, on birthdays, my family usually ate out or gathered together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.
>> Usually, on birthdays, my family eats out or gather together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116383 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 711
116382 Why do you think school clubs or organizations are important? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 286
116381 My Personality ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 762
116380 HOMEWORK: Why is it easy or hard for you to introduce someone to... ¼­*¾È ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 560
116379 What makes socializing difficult? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 0
116378 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 903
116377 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 351
116376 lesson 2 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 639
116375 Why do you think people don\'t like to practice gardening? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 3
116374 lesson 2 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 786
116373 If you could live in a city under the ocean, would you want to?... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 3
116372 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 1
116371 Figure skater You Young shrugs off Russian\'s reported doping,... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 1
116370 Voice, music ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 450
116369 Really mean peolpe they don\'t know what is falts ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 680
116368 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 466
116367 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 2
116366 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 1
116365 When is the best time for you to spend time with your family and... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 621
116364 How do you feel about making mistakes? Do you worry about it? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 663

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04