¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the meaning of my birthday

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-12-15 338

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think my birthday is quite important and meaningful.
For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and given gifts by my family or friends.
However, my idea have changed a little since I was in my 30s.
This is because it was a hard day for my parents to make me in the hospital.
Whenever my birthday approaches, I am grateful for my parents' dedication and love.
So, on my birthday, I call my parents first to thank them.
This is because the place where they live is far away.
I was able to learn these meaningful thoughts from my wife.
Usually, on birthdays, my family usually ate out or gathered together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

Birthdays are great. It's a day meant to celebrate your existence in this world. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise


I think my birthday is quite important and meaningful.
>> CORRECT

For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and given gifts by my family or friends.
>> For me, my birthday is just a day of birth, but when I was young, I always wanted to be congratulated and be given gifts by my family or friends.

However, my idea have changed a little since I was in my 30s.
>> However, my idea has changed a little since I was in my 30's.

This is because it was a hard day for my parents to make me in the hospital.
>> This is because it was a hard day for my parents to give birth of me in the hospital. 

Whenever my birthday approaches, I am grateful for my parents' dedication and love.
>> Whenever my birthday approaches, I feel grateful for my parents' dedication and love.

So, on my birthday, I call my parents first to thank them.
>> CORRECT

This is because the place where they live is far away.
>>This is because they live far away from me. 

I was able to learn these meaningful thoughts from my wife.
>> CORRECT

Usually, on birthdays, my family usually ate out or gathered together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.
>> Usually, on birthdays, my family eats out or gather together to have a simple party at home before COVID-19.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115304 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1
115303 law ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 357
115302 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 956
115301 fairy tale I know. ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 225
115300 Do you like meeting new people? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 284
115299 Homework Jan.6th. 2022. ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 124
115298 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 552
115297 What is your long term goal? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1
115296 criteria to recruiting nurses ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 386
115295 What would you do if most of your friends couldn¡¯t make it to... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 357
115294 Music can make people to one ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 277
115293 What is your favorite Korean traditional game? Explain how this... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 1813
115292 What new thing would you like to try this years? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 693
115291 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 182
115290 How do you value friendship? Explain your answer in as much... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 237
115289 writing3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 992
115288 writing2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 343
115287 Wring1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 206
115286 What is the best way for a country to bring in more tourists? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 594
115285 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 358

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04