¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Water is vital to living things

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-15 262

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Water is the most important resources for living things. It's because living things always have to drink water. It means water is vital to live. If people don't drink water three days in a row, then they die. It applies all of living things. Like oxygen, water is also vital resources for living things, so considering water that is vital is rightful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel! You were able to use good expressions in your work. Very good! Just please remember to use pronouns to replace nouns in your sentences.


- Teacher Debbie

Water is the most important resources for living things.
>> Water is the most important resource for living things.

It's because living things always have to drink water.
>> It's because living things always need water.

It means water is vital to live. 
>> This is a good sentence.

If people don't drink water three days in a row, then they die. 
>> If people don't drink water three days in a row, they will die.

It applies all of living things.
>> It applies to all living things.
 
Like oxygen, water is also vital resources for living things, so considering water that is vital is rightful.
>> Like oxygen, water is also vital for living things, so we must conserve it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114742 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 0
114741 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 274
114740 If you could go back to high school, would you change your major... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 313
114739 What do you usually do when or while riding a train or bus? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 205
114738 Do you always want to be in almost all parties? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 276
114737 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 204
114736 Hello. ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 4
114735 Why do you think people enjoy mountain climbing despite it being... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 227
114734 12/14 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 425
114733 12/13 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 252
114732 Why was the microscope invented? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114731 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114730 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114729 gender sensitivity ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 309
114728 If you could choose one place to go this weekend, where would it... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114727 I have a question ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114726 Pandemic ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 295
114725 Please write your journal on the homework page. ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 288
114724 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 365
114723 what I do when my homework is difficult ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 615

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04