¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Water is vital to living things

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-15 432

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Water is the most important resources for living things. It's because living things always have to drink water. It means water is vital to live. If people don't drink water three days in a row, then they die. It applies all of living things. Like oxygen, water is also vital resources for living things, so considering water that is vital is rightful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel! You were able to use good expressions in your work. Very good! Just please remember to use pronouns to replace nouns in your sentences.


- Teacher Debbie

Water is the most important resources for living things.
>> Water is the most important resource for living things.

It's because living things always have to drink water.
>> It's because living things always need water.

It means water is vital to live. 
>> This is a good sentence.

If people don't drink water three days in a row, then they die. 
>> If people don't drink water three days in a row, they will die.

It applies all of living things.
>> It applies to all living things.
 
Like oxygen, water is also vital resources for living things, so considering water that is vital is rightful.
>> Like oxygen, water is also vital for living things, so we must conserve it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113541 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 441
113540 Since it\'s Halloween season, do you think ghosts are real? Why... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 503
113539 space travel À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 2
113538 Are you a pet lover? How do people care for animals? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 397
113537 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 377
113536 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 561
113535 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 409
113534 Homework from the lesson Nov 3rd 2021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 475
113533 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 499
113532 Worst invention ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 679
113531 Happy halloween! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 809
113530 Why is regret important? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 961
113529 Abebe Bikila : barefoot marathoner ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 503
113528 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113527 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 436
113526 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 416
113525 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 415
113524 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113523 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 564
113522 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04