¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I want to change my curtain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-17 149

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want change my room curtain.
Korea is four season country.
And now it's December, very cold outside.
My room cutain so thin, and then my room temperature is so low.
And my favorite color is white, I want change my room curtain like white thick curtain.
Now my curtain color is so dark green, atmosphere like too dark:(

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann :) 

Oh, you can easily change that. I think changing it to white can really brighten up your room. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise
I want change my room curtain.
>> I want change my room's curtain.

Korea is four season country.
>> South Korea has four seasons. 

And now it's December, very cold outside.
>> Since it is December, it is very cold outside. 

My room cutain so thin, and then my room temperature is so low.
>> My room curtain so thin, and my room's temperature is so low.

And my favorite color is white, I want change my room curtain like white thick curtain.
>> My favorite color is also white so I want to change my curtain to a thick white curtain. 

Now my curtain color is so dark green, atmosphere like too dark:(
>> Now, my curtain is dark green which makes my room too dark.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114389 What is your favorite place in your city and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 131
114388 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 130
114387 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 297
114386 Presentation script related to my work-2 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114385 Presentation script related to my work-1 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 3
114384 Presentation script related to my work ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 0
114383 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 0
114382 Why ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 439
114381 Go out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 4
114380 How important is farming in your country? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114379 Jane\'s Oral Presentation 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 455
114378 Jane\'s Oral Presentation 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 104
114377 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 298
114376 What are the similarities/differences between collectors and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 126
114375 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114374 homework ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 137
114373 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114372 What is your biggest goal in life? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 363
114371 Getting older ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 184
114370 Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work... Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04