¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Apartment is better to live

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-17 303

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I prefer apartment in countryside to just house. It's because apartment's facility is better than common house's. First, in summer it's very hot and in winter it's very cold in common houses. I hate both hot and cold. So I want to live in, 'cool and warm home'. It is apartment. Second, usual house is smaller than apartment. Big house is very expensive, so I think apartment is proper to live. Third, it can be more safe than house. In the case of apartment, thief can't get into by windows because it is too tall. In conclusion, I think apartment is better to live than house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel! Thank you so much for your effort.  However,  your sentences need to be more organized. Keep on practicing! 

- Teacher Debbie

I prefer apartment in countryside to just house.
>> I prefer an apartment in the countryside to a house.

It's because apartment's facility is better than common house's.
>> It's because an apartment's facility is better than a house.

First, in summer it's very hot and in winter it's very cold in common houses. 
>> A house can be very hot in summer and very cold in winter.

I hate both hot and cold. So I want to live in, 'cool and warm home'.
>> I hate both hot and cold, so I want to live in a "cool and warm home."

 It is apartment. 
>> It is an apartment.

Second, usual house is smaller than apartment. 
>> In addition, a house is usually smaller than an apartment.

Big house is very expensive, so I think apartment is proper to live. 
>> Big houses are very expensive, so I think it's better to live in apartments.

Third, it can be more safe than house. 
>> Apartments are safer than houses.

In the case of apartment, thief can't get into by windows because it is too tall. 
>>  Thieves can't go through the windows of the apartments because they are too high.

In conclusion, I think apartment is better to live than house.
>> In conclusion, I think it's better to live in an apartment than in a house.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113933 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 1795
113932 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 346
113931 Grandparents ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 452
113930 what I will do in during recess ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 507
113929 What are the best things to do with your family and friends? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 781
113928 From bugs to delicacies, insects proteins find niche in pet food... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 1
113927 Homework_Nov.17 ³²*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 342
113926 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 430
113925 What are the qualities every leader should have? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 317
113924 What can you say about the 6-month long lowering of fuel taxes... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 360
113923 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 1
113922 Do you want to be a business woman? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 2
113921 What are the rules you usually break? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 1
113920 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 324
113919 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 408
113918 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 598
113917 Religion is good thing but... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 318
113916 Weak country always be colonized by strong country ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 352
113915 Today different types of robots are being developed which can... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 518
113914 What are the advantages in disadvantages of having a... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04