¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Apartment is better to live

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-17 339

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I prefer apartment in countryside to just house. It's because apartment's facility is better than common house's. First, in summer it's very hot and in winter it's very cold in common houses. I hate both hot and cold. So I want to live in, 'cool and warm home'. It is apartment. Second, usual house is smaller than apartment. Big house is very expensive, so I think apartment is proper to live. Third, it can be more safe than house. In the case of apartment, thief can't get into by windows because it is too tall. In conclusion, I think apartment is better to live than house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel! Thank you so much for your effort.  However,  your sentences need to be more organized. Keep on practicing! 

- Teacher Debbie

I prefer apartment in countryside to just house.
>> I prefer an apartment in the countryside to a house.

It's because apartment's facility is better than common house's.
>> It's because an apartment's facility is better than a house.

First, in summer it's very hot and in winter it's very cold in common houses. 
>> A house can be very hot in summer and very cold in winter.

I hate both hot and cold. So I want to live in, 'cool and warm home'.
>> I hate both hot and cold, so I want to live in a "cool and warm home."

 It is apartment. 
>> It is an apartment.

Second, usual house is smaller than apartment. 
>> In addition, a house is usually smaller than an apartment.

Big house is very expensive, so I think apartment is proper to live. 
>> Big houses are very expensive, so I think it's better to live in apartments.

Third, it can be more safe than house. 
>> Apartments are safer than houses.

In the case of apartment, thief can't get into by windows because it is too tall. 
>>  Thieves can't go through the windows of the apartments because they are too high.

In conclusion, I think apartment is better to live than house.
>> In conclusion, I think it's better to live in an apartment than in a house.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113220 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 469
113219 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 2
113218 Brushing ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 565
113217 What do you think is the easiest thing about learning English? ¹®*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 1
113216 What culture in South Korea are you most proud of? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 800
113215 what makes you happy? or stressed? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113214 Most proud culture in Korea ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 1071
113213 Which is longer, a snake or a worm? Àü*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 469
113212 What is the hardest problem you have ever faced in your life? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 696
113211 10.22 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113210 Where do you always get information? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113209 How can you stay healthy? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113208 What jobs would be more promising in the future? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 501
113207 Do you think you are a good team player? Why do you say so? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 479
113206 How do you enjoy your hobby with minimal spending? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 1
113205 How do brain teasers affect the brain? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 2
113204 How do you feel about customer complaints? Do you think you are... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 447
113203 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 404
113202 Strong Power of Body Language Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 536
113201 How often would you say you get a good night\'s sleep? ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 503

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04