¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If Korea getting together

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-22 409

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

North Korea and South Korea is still war.
Just having rest time.
If North Korea and South Korea belong together, the first thing government need to solve is a separate family live together again.
When I was a student, teacher show us to the movie title is at class.
I saw a movie's one scene is a separate family meeting scene.
It's feel like so cruel, and just sad.
It's ridiculous to say goodbye to family.
And if our country getting together, I think we should resolve that problem first.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

I also hope that North Korea and South Korea would unite as well. Although, I think there would also be disadvantages to this. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

North Korea and South Korea is still war.
>> North Korea and South Korea are still at war. 

Just having rest time.
>> They are just on rest. 

If North Korea and South Korea belong together, the first thing government need to solve is a separate family live together again.
>> If the two countries will unite, the first thing that the government should do is to reunite separated families. 

When I was a student, teacher show us to the movie title is <±¹Á¦½ÃÀå> at class.
>> When I was a student, teacher showed us a movie called "±¹Á¦½ÃÀå" 

I saw a movie's one scene is a separate family meeting scene.
>> One scene in the movie involved separating a family. 

It's feel like so cruel, and just sad.
>> It was so cruel and sad. 

It's ridiculous to say goodbye to family.
>> It's ridiculous to say goodbye to your family.

And if our country getting together, I think we should resolve that problem first.
>> And if our country reunites again, I think we should resolve that problem first.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114256 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114255 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 287
114254 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 499
114253 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 0
114252 Stuffing and emptying ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 173
114251 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 235
114250 How do you think you will change in the future? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 221
114249 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 221
114248 choose the correct tense of the verb ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 180
114247 My experience ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 3
114246 Which is always the best part of your day? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 264
114245 Are you a \"night owl\" or an \"early bird\"? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 214
114244 Sad ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 333
114243 favorite Movie ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 172
114242 1129 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 2
114241 1129 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 230
114240 If selected for this position, can you describe your strategy... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 384
114239 What do you think of men wearing lipstick,mascara, and... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 0
114238 hi, teacher. Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 200
114237 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04