¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If Korea getting together

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-22 461

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

North Korea and South Korea is still war.
Just having rest time.
If North Korea and South Korea belong together, the first thing government need to solve is a separate family live together again.
When I was a student, teacher show us to the movie title is at class.
I saw a movie's one scene is a separate family meeting scene.
It's feel like so cruel, and just sad.
It's ridiculous to say goodbye to family.
And if our country getting together, I think we should resolve that problem first.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

I also hope that North Korea and South Korea would unite as well. Although, I think there would also be disadvantages to this. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

North Korea and South Korea is still war.
>> North Korea and South Korea are still at war. 

Just having rest time.
>> They are just on rest. 

If North Korea and South Korea belong together, the first thing government need to solve is a separate family live together again.
>> If the two countries will unite, the first thing that the government should do is to reunite separated families. 

When I was a student, teacher show us to the movie title is <±¹Á¦½ÃÀå> at class.
>> When I was a student, teacher showed us a movie called "±¹Á¦½ÃÀå" 

I saw a movie's one scene is a separate family meeting scene.
>> One scene in the movie involved separating a family. 

It's feel like so cruel, and just sad.
>> It was so cruel and sad. 

It's ridiculous to say goodbye to family.
>> It's ridiculous to say goodbye to your family.

And if our country getting together, I think we should resolve that problem first.
>> And if our country reunites again, I think we should resolve that problem first.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113774 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 1
113773 Do you like snow? Why or why not? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 1
113772 Writing Part2 ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 231
113771 Who are the people you always check on? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 237
113770 Respect ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 285
113769 What was your embarrassing childhood memory? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 375
113768 My family relationship ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 2
113767 What was the most interesting thing that you did during the... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 213
113766 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 1
113765 What kind of industry do you think will thrive online in the... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 415
113764 ¡°It¡¯s easy to tell when politicians lie - they move their... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 0
113763 Today, I\'d like to interest in decorating home. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 2
113762 1111 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 1
113761 Is it easy for you to forgive people who have hurt your feelings? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 0
113760 Is it rude to tell the person that they need to improve their... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 170
113759 Problem with friends ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 189
113758 What festivals does your country have? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 656
113757 Apologies ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 544
113756 HOMEWORK: Would you like to renovate your apartment? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 2
113755 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 493

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04