¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are as one again?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-22 154

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
In North Korea, there are many natural resources and South Korea has improved technologies.
Also we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.
So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.
So I think if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

I also hope that North Korea and South Korea would unite as well. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
>> If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be more powerful than before. 

In North Korea, there are many natural resources and South Korea has improved technologies.
>> In North Korea, there are many natural resources and in South Korea, technologies have improved. 

Also we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.
>> Also, we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.

So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.
>> So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.

So I think if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
>> So, I think that if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be more powerful than before. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115873 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 202
115872 Homework (1/21) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 2
115871 When I am upset. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115870 It\'s nonsense ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 542
115869 Can money buy happiness È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115868 HOMEWORK: What is the coronavirus pandemic situation in your... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 4
115867 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115866 Why do you think it is important to save the elephant... ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 680
115865 Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1209
115864 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1481
115863 Who are the people you always rely on? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 450
115862 Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 745
115861 Over one-third of South Koreans paid subscribers to OTT... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115860 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 290
115859 There will be commotion in the city ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 791
115858 Family importance ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 419
115857 Do you like meeting new people? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 2
115856 What is your favorite movie? Why? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 254
115855 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 423
115854 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 396

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04