¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How is the law enforcement in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2021-12-23 174

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, I brief on my country's law enforcement. My country has a relatively unified and intergrated approach to law enforcement. For example, The National Police Agency(NPA) provides all policing service for people across the country. So local police organizations are directly under the NPA, based on the unitary system.

In addition, there are some independent agencies that enforce a specific law or laws such as some orgarnizaions under Ministry of Justice and Ministry of Economy and Finance. For example, they enforce laws for border control or taxation and so on. But they are not called police in Korea.

The organizaions enforcing laws are most concerned with the punishment of crimes, but they also try to prevent crimes and dicourage a wide range of non-criminal violation of rules and norms through the imposition of less severe dealings such as probation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! You did an amazing job!  You have delivered your ideas in an orderly way. Keep it up!

- Debbie

First of all, I brief on my country's law enforcement.
>> First of all, I will brief you on my country's law enforcement.

My country has a relatively unified and intergrated approach to law enforcement. 
>> My country has a relatively unified and integrated approach to law enforcement. 

For example, The National Police Agency(NPA) provides all policing service for people across the country. 
>> This is a good sentence.

So local police organizations are directly under the NPA, based on the unitary system.
>> Therefore, the local police organizations are directly under the NPA, based on the unitary system.

In addition, there are some independent agencies that enforce a specific law or laws such as some orgarnizaions under Ministry of Justice and Ministry of Economy and Finance. 
>> In addition, there are some independent agencies that enforce a specific law or laws, such as some of the organizations under The Ministry of Justice and The Ministry of Economy and Finance.

For example, they enforce laws for border control or taxation and so on. 
>> This is a good sentence.

But they are not called police in Korea.
>> However, they are not called police in Korea.

The organizaions enforcing laws are most concerned with the punishment of crimes, but they also try to prevent crimes and dicourage a wide range of non-criminal violation of rules and norms through the imposition of less severe dealings such as probation.
>> The organizations enforcing laws are most concerned with the punishment of crimes, but they also try to prevent crimes and discourage a wide range of non-criminal violation of rules and norms through the imposition of less severe dealings such as probation.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115316 What is your favorite Korean traditional game? Explain how this... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 160
115315 ESSAY: Some people think products should be designed to last for... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 416
115314 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 124
115313 The value of friendship Á¶*¿Ï ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 378
115312 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115311 What genre of book do you enjoy most? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 340
115310 Homework (1/5) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115309 Where do you want to visit this year? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115308 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 481
115307 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 510
115306 Greetings can be expressed verbally and physically. How can... Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 4
115305 What\'s new with you since you moved to Canada? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 349
115304 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1
115303 law ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 355
115302 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 952
115301 fairy tale I know. ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 223
115300 Do you like meeting new people? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 282
115299 Homework Jan.6th. 2022. ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 124
115298 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 550
115297 What is your long term goal? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04