¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How is the law enforcement in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2021-12-23 427

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, I brief on my country's law enforcement. My country has a relatively unified and intergrated approach to law enforcement. For example, The National Police Agency(NPA) provides all policing service for people across the country. So local police organizations are directly under the NPA, based on the unitary system.

In addition, there are some independent agencies that enforce a specific law or laws such as some orgarnizaions under Ministry of Justice and Ministry of Economy and Finance. For example, they enforce laws for border control or taxation and so on. But they are not called police in Korea.

The organizaions enforcing laws are most concerned with the punishment of crimes, but they also try to prevent crimes and dicourage a wide range of non-criminal violation of rules and norms through the imposition of less severe dealings such as probation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! You did an amazing job!  You have delivered your ideas in an orderly way. Keep it up!

- Debbie

First of all, I brief on my country's law enforcement.
>> First of all, I will brief you on my country's law enforcement.

My country has a relatively unified and intergrated approach to law enforcement. 
>> My country has a relatively unified and integrated approach to law enforcement. 

For example, The National Police Agency(NPA) provides all policing service for people across the country. 
>> This is a good sentence.

So local police organizations are directly under the NPA, based on the unitary system.
>> Therefore, the local police organizations are directly under the NPA, based on the unitary system.

In addition, there are some independent agencies that enforce a specific law or laws such as some orgarnizaions under Ministry of Justice and Ministry of Economy and Finance. 
>> In addition, there are some independent agencies that enforce a specific law or laws, such as some of the organizations under The Ministry of Justice and The Ministry of Economy and Finance.

For example, they enforce laws for border control or taxation and so on. 
>> This is a good sentence.

But they are not called police in Korea.
>> However, they are not called police in Korea.

The organizaions enforcing laws are most concerned with the punishment of crimes, but they also try to prevent crimes and dicourage a wide range of non-criminal violation of rules and norms through the imposition of less severe dealings such as probation.
>> The organizations enforcing laws are most concerned with the punishment of crimes, but they also try to prevent crimes and discourage a wide range of non-criminal violation of rules and norms through the imposition of less severe dealings such as probation.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113161 What is the hardest problem you have ever faced in your life?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 305
113160 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 339
113159 homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 350
113158 homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 361
113157 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 358
113156 Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 388
113155 My hardest problem in my life ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 401
113154 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 435
113153 H/W ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 291
113152 Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 329
113151 egg ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 309
113150 Unit1. Learning about sizes ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 279
113149 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 271
113148 why go to school is early. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 313
113147 What was the best lesson your mentor taught you? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 401
113146 What is the hardest problem you have ever faced in your life? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 471
113145 Local Festival to Resume as Korea Returns to Normal À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113144 Have you ever ordered food in English? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 279
113143 rich ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 424
113142 Sports ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 232

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04