¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What advice would you like to give to your old self and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2021-12-23 1691

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to say "Everything will go well" and "I'm always on your side". Because I was stressful. I had so many thoughts and worries. So, I always asked to me "Is this way right?". Due to this asking, I was hard. So, I return to that time and I want to answer the question. And I want to make me relievable. Also, my previous self needed a person who I can rely on . So, my present self want to be a person who my previous self can rely on. Thanks to my advices, I hope my previous self can live more happily. But I hope my previous self don't throw away all thoughts.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi  Kimberly  :) 

There are things that we would like to change in our past. Sometimes we feel regret but often times, it helps us grow into a better person. There is a saying that experiences are the best teachers so we should be thankful for the things in the past. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to say "Everything will go well" and "I'm always on your side". 
>> CORRECT

Because I was stressful. 
>> It is because I was stressed at that time. 

I had so many thoughts and worries. 
>> CORRECT

So, I always asked to me "Is this way right?". 
>> So I always asked myself, "Is this the right way?". 

Due to this asking, I was hard. 
>> Due to the constant worry, I had a hard time.

So, I return to that time and I want to answer the question. 
>> So, if I will return to that time, I want to answer those questions. 

And I want to make me relievable. 
>> I want to make myself feel relieved. 

Also, my previous self needed a person who I can rely on. 
>>  CORRECT

So, my present self want to be a person who my previous self can rely on. 
>>CORRECT

Thanks to my advices, I hope my previous self can live more happily. 
>> CORRECT

But I hope my previous self don't throw away all thoughts.
>> But I hope that my old self will not throw away all those thoughts. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117192 If you could only read one more book for your entire life, what... ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 998
117191 . À±*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 4
117190 Who do you think is the best candidate for president during this... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 562
117189 homework ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 0
117188 homework ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 0
117187 If you can have your own business, what would it be and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 0
117186 What is the best thing about having a family? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 2
117185 I want to be a.. ÀÌ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 730
117184 3/9 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 661
117183 what kinds of social activities do you do in church? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 465
117182 Do you think tourism will harm the earth? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 1
117181 Who do you think is the best candidate for president during this... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 833
117180 The worst shopping ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 3
117179 How do you feel if someone didn\'t give back what you lent her? ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 527
117178 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 499
117177 Arrange the words to make a sentence. 1. in a fish My circle... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 1
117176 Use the words in a sentence. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 813
117175 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 2
117174 Have you experienced hacking in the past? Share your answer in a... ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 1
117173 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04