¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What advice would you like to give to your old self and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2021-12-23 1608

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to say "Everything will go well" and "I'm always on your side". Because I was stressful. I had so many thoughts and worries. So, I always asked to me "Is this way right?". Due to this asking, I was hard. So, I return to that time and I want to answer the question. And I want to make me relievable. Also, my previous self needed a person who I can rely on . So, my present self want to be a person who my previous self can rely on. Thanks to my advices, I hope my previous self can live more happily. But I hope my previous self don't throw away all thoughts.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi  Kimberly  :) 

There are things that we would like to change in our past. Sometimes we feel regret but often times, it helps us grow into a better person. There is a saying that experiences are the best teachers so we should be thankful for the things in the past. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to say "Everything will go well" and "I'm always on your side". 
>> CORRECT

Because I was stressful. 
>> It is because I was stressed at that time. 

I had so many thoughts and worries. 
>> CORRECT

So, I always asked to me "Is this way right?". 
>> So I always asked myself, "Is this the right way?". 

Due to this asking, I was hard. 
>> Due to the constant worry, I had a hard time.

So, I return to that time and I want to answer the question. 
>> So, if I will return to that time, I want to answer those questions. 

And I want to make me relievable. 
>> I want to make myself feel relieved. 

Also, my previous self needed a person who I can rely on. 
>>  CORRECT

So, my present self want to be a person who my previous self can rely on. 
>>CORRECT

Thanks to my advices, I hope my previous self can live more happily. 
>> CORRECT

But I hope my previous self don't throw away all thoughts.
>> But I hope that my old self will not throw away all those thoughts. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116903 2/28 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 995
116902 South Korea is about to approve vaccinating children ages 5-11.... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 2266
116901 Do you think people can move objects without touching them... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 917
116900 What comes to mind when you hear the word ¡®war¡¯? How do you... Àü*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 862
116899 The best thing when we take online class ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 779
116898 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 1125
116897 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 735
116896 What are the 2 special holidays in your country? / What\'s your... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 740
116895 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 0
116894 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 599
116893 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 1289
116892 Which famous celebrity influenced you the most and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 1075
116891 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 1194
116890 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 759
116889 Who is your favorite animation character? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 1188
116888 The most expensive ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 2
116887 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 0
116886 Ryu Hyun Jin ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 440
116885 HOMEWORK: What¡¯s good or bad about having packed lunches? ¼­*¾È ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 700
116884 Homework. ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 795

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04