¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What advice would you like to give to your old self and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2021-12-24 281

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What advice would you like to give to your old self and why?

I did have regrets about my old self, sometimes I want to turn back to the past.
If I returned to the past, I will make dreams and I am trying to achieve my dreams.
When I was young, I just studied without purpose.
I didn't think about my dream what I would like to be something.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica :) 

There are things that we would like to change in our past. Sometimes we feel regret but often times, it helps us grow into a better person. There is a saying that experiences are the best teachers so we should be thankful for the things in the past. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I did have regrets about my old self, sometimes I want to turn back to the past.
>> I did have regrets about my old self and sometimes I want to turn back to the past.

If I returned to the past, I will make dreams and I am trying to achieve my dreams.
>> If I will return to the past, I will make my dreams come try. 

When I was young, I just studied without purpose.
>> CORRECT

I didn't think about my dream what I would like to be something.
>> I didn't focus picking what I would like to be in the future.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114142 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0
114141 Disney Plus subscribers complain about low-quality subtitles À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 1
114140 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 3
114139 THANK YOU Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 266
114138 Return to normal could stop wiht rise in serious COVID19 cases À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 1
114137 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 2
114136 If you had money to spare, what would you buy or invest in?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 310
114135 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 288
114134 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 336
114133 Why should/shouldn\'t we have hobbies? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 512
114132 I\'ll give Ramen to them ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 262
114131 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 351
114130 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 351
114129 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 514
114128 As we grow older, we need to have more time for recreation and... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 281
114127 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 2
114126 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 342
114125 Falling stars ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 329
114124 What¡¯s the best way to pass job interviews? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 411
114123 If you had money to spare, what would you buy or invest in?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04