¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What advice would you like to give to your old self and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-24 203

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can meet my old self, I would tell him 'you have to enjoy your life.'.
When I was a kid before, I thought everything seriously.
I think I didn't know how to enjoy my life and hang out with other people.
I was really shy about meeting new people and I was very quiet.
So I had no friends when I was a kid.
But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy and quiet any more.
That's the reason that I have a lot of friends now.
So I want to give the advice to my old self.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

There are things that we would like to change in our past. Sometimes we feel regret but often times, it helps us grow into a better person. There is a saying that experiences are the best teachers so we should be thankful for the things in the past. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can meet my old self, I would tell him 'you have to enjoy your life.'.
>> If I can meet my old self, I would tell him, "You have to enjoy your life.". 

When I was a kid before, I thought everything seriously.
>> When I was a kid, I thought everything seriously.

I think I didn't know how to enjoy my life and hang out with other people.
>>CORRECT

I was really shy about meeting new people and I was very quiet.
>> CORRECT

So I had no friends when I was a kid.
>> CORRECT

But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy and quiet any more.
>> But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy or quiet any more.

That's the reason that I have a lot of friends now.
>> That's the reason why  I have a lot of friends now.

So I want to give the advice to my old self.
>> So I want to tell my old self to enjoy life. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116085 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1406
116084 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1096
116083 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 622
116082 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1684
116081 Writing correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 829
116080 Writing correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 763
116079 Where is your favorite restaurant and why? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 2
116078 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1764
116077 My appearance ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 5
116076 LIving WIth Someone ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 832
116075 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1
116074 What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 0
116073 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1
116072 22-02-04 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1
116071 What is your favorite social activity? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 471
116070 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1
116069 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 730
116068 I\\\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1083
116067 Inner beauty À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 284
116066 2022.2.3 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 518

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04