¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What advice would you like to give to your old self and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-24 304

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can meet my old self, I would tell him 'you have to enjoy your life.'.
When I was a kid before, I thought everything seriously.
I think I didn't know how to enjoy my life and hang out with other people.
I was really shy about meeting new people and I was very quiet.
So I had no friends when I was a kid.
But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy and quiet any more.
That's the reason that I have a lot of friends now.
So I want to give the advice to my old self.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

There are things that we would like to change in our past. Sometimes we feel regret but often times, it helps us grow into a better person. There is a saying that experiences are the best teachers so we should be thankful for the things in the past. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can meet my old self, I would tell him 'you have to enjoy your life.'.
>> If I can meet my old self, I would tell him, "You have to enjoy your life.". 

When I was a kid before, I thought everything seriously.
>> When I was a kid, I thought everything seriously.

I think I didn't know how to enjoy my life and hang out with other people.
>>CORRECT

I was really shy about meeting new people and I was very quiet.
>> CORRECT

So I had no friends when I was a kid.
>> CORRECT

But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy and quiet any more.
>> But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy or quiet any more.

That's the reason that I have a lot of friends now.
>> That's the reason why  I have a lot of friends now.

So I want to give the advice to my old self.
>> So I want to tell my old self to enjoy life. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114536 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 657
114535 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 934
114534 Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 252
114533 lend money ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 824
114532 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 339
114531 Saving electricity is very important. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 421
114530 Is physical activity an important part of a healthy life style? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 2
114529 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 613
114528 The purpose of studying history ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 398
114527 Master librarians À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 1
114526 Available ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 2
114525 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 405
114524 Do you think people who exercise are happier than those who... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 308
114523 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 381
114522 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 504
114521 Do you believe in lucky charms? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 302
114520 How endangered are whales and what can we do to help? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 1
114519 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 671
114518 Some people believe that teacher should be strict for students... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 247
114517 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04