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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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서비스 입니다.

Choose between these holidays and explain your choice:

작성자: 김*경
2021-12-27 318

회원님의 영작문

Choose between these holidays and explain your choice:
a. a tour of historic sites in Europe
b. a relaxing stay at a beach resort in Southeast Asia
c. going on safari in Africa

I'd like to choose a tour of historic sites in Europe. Because I've been to some coutries in Europe on business trip a dacade ago. Back then, I had an awesome and friutful time. What I was surprised most was so many cultural heritage in Europe and so many tourists from acoss the world to see them.

I learned why the tourism industry is called a chimney-free industry through my trip to Europe. Seeing countless people flocking to see one painting there with a lot of money and time, I came to look back on how much we understand and preserve the value of our culture and heritage. Building factories and selling goods are good, but just having a great cultural heritage can make a lot of money and promote the excellence of our country to the world.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Steve! Your answer is fantastic!  However, don’t forget to double-check your spelling.

- Debbie


Choose between these holidays and explain your choice:
a. a tour of historic sites in Europe
b. a relaxing stay at a beach resort in Southeast Asia
c. going on safari in Africa


I'd like to choose a tour of historic sites in Europe.
>> This is a good sentence.

Because I've been to some coutries in Europe on business trip a dacade ago. 
>> It's because I went to some countries in Europe for business trips a decade ago. 

Back then, I had an awesome and friutful time. 
>> Back then, I had an awesome and fruitful time.

What I was surprised most was so many cultural heritage in Europe and so many tourists from acoss the world to see them.
>> What I was surprised with the most were the cultural heritage in Europe and the number of tourists across the world to see them.

I learned why the tourism industry is called a chimney-free industry through my trip to Europe. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Seeing countless people flocking to see one painting there with a lot of money and time, I came to look back on how much we understand and preserve the value of our culture and heritage. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Building factories and selling goods are good, but just having a great cultural heritage can make a lot of money and promote the excellence of our country to the world.
>> Building factories and selling goods are good, but having a great cultural heritage can make a lot of money and promote the excellence of our country to the world is better.

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04