¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The Impact of Fishing Industry

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿µ
2021-12-27 1320

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Avove 50% of marine plastic is abandoned net. Fishes and Whales are dissappearing due to overfishing. Coral reefs are dying, not just because of global warming and ocean acidification, but mainly by lack of food which is coming from fishes.
These are the information from the documentary 'Seaspiracy'. I think fishing is causing considerable problems, and i really should reduce seafood for more than 90%.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Justine!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Avove 50% of marine plastic is abandoned net. 

>> Above 50% of marine plastics are abandoned nets. 

Fishes and Whales are dissappearing due to overfishing.

 >> Fishes and whales are disappearing due to overfishing

Coral reefs are dying, not just because of global warming and ocean acidification, but mainly by lack of food which is coming from fishes.

>> Coral reefs are dying, not just because of global warming and ocean acidification, but mainly, by lack of food which comes from fishes.
These are the information from the documentary 'Seaspiracy'. 

>> These are the information from the documentary, 'Seaspiracy'. 

I think fishing is causing considerable problems, and i really should reduce seafood for more than 90%.

>> I think fishing is causing considerable amount of problems, and it really should be reduced for more than 90%.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115578 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 4
115577 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115576 It is very good story for people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 333
115575 Learn instrument. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 683
115574 Famouse superstition ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 579
115573 About peace! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 206
115572 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 337
115571 Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1058
115570 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 293
115569 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115568 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115567 Homework ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115566 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 499
115565 Some people think that enjoying the present is more important... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 304
115564 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 165
115563 Taking advantage ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1
115562 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 160
115561 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115560 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 820
115559 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 804

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04