¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The Impact of Fishing Industry

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿µ
2021-12-27 1412

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Avove 50% of marine plastic is abandoned net. Fishes and Whales are dissappearing due to overfishing. Coral reefs are dying, not just because of global warming and ocean acidification, but mainly by lack of food which is coming from fishes.
These are the information from the documentary 'Seaspiracy'. I think fishing is causing considerable problems, and i really should reduce seafood for more than 90%.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Justine!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Avove 50% of marine plastic is abandoned net. 

>> Above 50% of marine plastics are abandoned nets. 

Fishes and Whales are dissappearing due to overfishing.

 >> Fishes and whales are disappearing due to overfishing

Coral reefs are dying, not just because of global warming and ocean acidification, but mainly by lack of food which is coming from fishes.

>> Coral reefs are dying, not just because of global warming and ocean acidification, but mainly, by lack of food which comes from fishes.
These are the information from the documentary 'Seaspiracy'. 

>> These are the information from the documentary, 'Seaspiracy'. 

I think fishing is causing considerable problems, and i really should reduce seafood for more than 90%.

>> I think fishing is causing considerable amount of problems, and it really should be reduced for more than 90%.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114446 Do you agree or disagree, \"Children should always obey their... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114445 Describe a time when your work was criticized? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 309
114444 How do you control your emotions in you profession? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114443 Who is your favorite BTS member? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 2
114442 Why is our company interesting to you? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 306
114441 TALK ABOUT YOUR CITY AND WHY IT IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE TO VISIT. ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 552
114440 What¡¯s the biggest lesson you¡¯ve learned from a mistake... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 490
114439 If you could have one superpower, what would it be? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 230
114438 Annual lantern festival lights up downtown Seoul À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 0
114437 What is your first impression of your teacher? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 327
114436 What are the different methods of advertising? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-04 5
114435 Is restaurant food better than home-cooked food? Why do you say... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-04 681
114434 Is there a food that you will never eat? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-04 2
114433 How can stress be good, useful, or necessary? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 211
114432 wow/... I will keep trying!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 293
114431 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 157
114430 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 183
114429 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 506
114428 Korea\'s low birth rate. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 432
114427 What do you think are the responsibilities of a mother to her... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 220

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04