¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that Christmas should be an important holiday in South Korea? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-28 343

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think some Koreans can think that Christmas is an important holiday, and others may not.
Becuase we celebrate the birth of Jesus in Christmas and christians celebrate it.
Other religiouses may not think Christmas is important, and also they might not want to celebrate the holiday.
If in South Korea, the most people are christians, we can think that Christmas is an important holiday.
But in South Korea, there are various kinds of religiouses so I think we can't think that Christmas is one of the most important holidays in South Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

That is true! These holidays are based on our religion. We have our own ways on how we celebrate them. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think some Koreans can think that Christmas is an important holiday, and others may not.
>>  I think some Koreans thing that Christmas is important and others don't. 

Becuase we celebrate the birth of Jesus in Christmas and christians celebrate it.
>> On Christmas, we celebrate the birth of Jesus which Christians and Catholics honor. 

Other religiouses may not think Christmas is important, and also they might not want to celebrate the holiday.
>>People with other religions may think that Christmas is important, and some may not want to celebrate it. 

If in South Korea, the most people are christians, we can think that Christmas is an important holiday.
>> In  South Korea, most people are Christians, so  we think that Christmas is an important holiday.

But in South Korea, there are various kinds of religiouses so I think we can't think that Christmas is one of the most important holidays in South Korea.
>> But in South Korea, there are various kinds of religions so I think Christmas is one of the most important holidays in South Korea.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116063 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 927
116062 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 719
116061 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 1353
116060 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 839
116059 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 5
116058 Jacob and Elas ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 2
116057 Taxi sharing to be revived in Seoul after 40 years À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 4
116056 Vacation ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 591
116055 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 562
116054 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? Explain your... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 0
116053 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 2
116052 Ph.D. ...? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 11
116051 ESSAY: Is it good or bad to be an only child? Explain. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 1009
116050 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 1164
116049 What do you think of the saying, \"The customer is always... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 0
116048 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 865
116047 What was the best food you have ever tried? Why do you think it... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 4
116046 The change of birthday culture in my country ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 601
116045 Can you describe your current job? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 0
116044 why did you choose your major Graphic design? Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04