¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What I\'m grateful for this Christmas..

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-12-29 678

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What I'm grateful for this Christmas is that all my family members started the year healthy and were able to finish it.
Although my parents are separated, I hope they are healthy and my family overcame COVID-19.
And I think it was a year when I was busy at work, but I was recognized as much as I was busy and showed my abilities well.
This year, many new tasks were added and many new tasks were finished well.
As a team leader of a Filipino employee, I worked together and experienced new projects.
And I didn't think I would be able to do English conversation classes for a long time, but I think I will eventually achieve my goal of three months. I want to try harder to improve my English next year.
Although I spent this Christmas with my family in another city, I think this will also remain a good memory.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan :) 

You had a great year. You have so many memories to treasure. I wish that you would have more next year!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

What I'm grateful for this Christmas is that all my family members started the year healthy and were able to finish it.
>> The thing I am most grateful for this Christmas is my family being healthy from the beginning and ending of this year. 

Although my parents are separated, I hope they are healthy and my family overcame COVID-19.
>> Although my parents are separated, I still hope that they are healthy. 

And I think it was a year when I was busy at work, but I was recognized as much as I was busy and showed my abilities well.
>> I think that this year I was very busy due to work but I was able to recognize my skills and abilities well. 

This year, many new tasks were added and many new tasks were finished well.
>> CORRECT

As a team leader of a Filipino employee, I worked together and experienced new projects.
>> As a team leader of a Filipino employee, I worked well together with him and experienced new projects.

And I didn't think I would be able to do English conversation classes for a long time, but I think I will eventually achieve my goal of three months. 
>> And I didn't think I would be able to do English conversation classes for a long time, but I think I will eventually achieve my goal in those three months. 

I want to try harder to improve my English next year.
>> CORRECT

Although I spent this Christmas with my family in another city, I think this will also remain a good memory.
>> I spent this Christmas with my family in another city and I think this will also remain a good memory.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113899 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 1
113898 Studying science ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 0
113897 astronaut training(past) À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 1
113896 How can you promote your country to foreigners? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 715
113895 Is fashion important or not important? Why or why not? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 453
113894 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113893 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113892 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113891 Would you spend on the wallpaper, paint, the garden. etc. if you... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113890 11.15 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113889 Who do you think is the best South Korean politician? Explain... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 666
113888 Introduce my family ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 464
113887 I don\'t have any best politicion ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 323
113886 How do you feel when someone borrow money from you? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113885 What are some of the benefits of traveling alone? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113884 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 2
113883 Interview ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 410
113882 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 541
113881 Should art works need to be auctioned or displayed in the... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 3
113880 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 573

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04