¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think people started living in cities?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-02 345

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There is a saying, you should live in a city when you are old. It means that, there are marts, hospitals, and places for spending free time. thous places will help you for your satisfied life. The government can spend lots of budget at a city, because there are many citizens. If the government spend budget, many citizens can benefit. After developing a city, the government will spend budget for countryside. A city has more job opportunity than countryside.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for writing this essay. It was nice to see the comparison. 
I agree that living in the city is very convenient. However, you have to have enough money to live in the city especially after retirement because living in the city is quite expensive. 
Anyhow, I hope you're having a wonderful night. 
See you again on Wednesday. ^_^
~Teacher Charry

There is a saying, you should live in a city when you are old.
>> There is a saying that you should live in a city when you are old.
It means that, there are marts, hospitals, and places for spending free time. 
>> It means that, there are marts, hospitals, and places to spend one's free time.
thous places will help you for your satisfied life. 
>> These places will help you live a satisfied life. 
The government can spend lots of budget at a city, because there are many citizens. 
>> The government needs to put lots of budget in a city because there are many citizens living there. 
If the government spend budget, many citizens can benefit. 
>> If the government will spend a big budget for those, many citizens can benefit. 
After developing a city, the government will spend budget for countryside. 
>> After developing a city, the government will set aside a budget for the countryside.
A city has more job opportunity than countryside.
>> A city has more job opportunities than the countryside.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116352 homework.3 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 643
116351 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 644
116350 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 874
116349 What is that one thing that you will not change about yourself... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 1335
116348 If you could magically gain the ability to do any sport well,... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1133
116347 ESSAY QUESTION: What¡¯s your biggest goal in life? How are goals... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 919
116346 What is your favorite sport and why? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 798
116345 Do you forgive people easily when they did something bad to you? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 847
116344 2/11 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 626
116343 challenges ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116342 The Worst News ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1047
116341 homework(2) Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 867
116340 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 902
116339 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 856
116338 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 832
116337 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 835
116336 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116335 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 712
116334 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 897
116333 Do you forgive people easily when they did something bad to you?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 712

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04