¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think people started living in cities?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-02 301

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There is a saying, you should live in a city when you are old. It means that, there are marts, hospitals, and places for spending free time. thous places will help you for your satisfied life. The government can spend lots of budget at a city, because there are many citizens. If the government spend budget, many citizens can benefit. After developing a city, the government will spend budget for countryside. A city has more job opportunity than countryside.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for writing this essay. It was nice to see the comparison. 
I agree that living in the city is very convenient. However, you have to have enough money to live in the city especially after retirement because living in the city is quite expensive. 
Anyhow, I hope you're having a wonderful night. 
See you again on Wednesday. ^_^
~Teacher Charry

There is a saying, you should live in a city when you are old.
>> There is a saying that you should live in a city when you are old.
It means that, there are marts, hospitals, and places for spending free time. 
>> It means that, there are marts, hospitals, and places to spend one's free time.
thous places will help you for your satisfied life. 
>> These places will help you live a satisfied life. 
The government can spend lots of budget at a city, because there are many citizens. 
>> The government needs to put lots of budget in a city because there are many citizens living there. 
If the government spend budget, many citizens can benefit. 
>> If the government will spend a big budget for those, many citizens can benefit. 
After developing a city, the government will spend budget for countryside. 
>> After developing a city, the government will set aside a budget for the countryside.
A city has more job opportunity than countryside.
>> A city has more job opportunities than the countryside.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115845 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 270
115844 The upset ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115843 Discrimination ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 719
115842 Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 635
115841 Why kids are not should be read news. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 473
115840 ESSAY: Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1219
115839 Do you enjoy meeting new people? Why or why not? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115838 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115837 writing È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115836 school ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 729
115835 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 650
115834 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 769
115833 01/20/2022 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 385
115832 2022/1/19 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 442
115831 01/18/2022 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1071
115830 How often do you use public transport? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 0
115829 Are older people actually wiser? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 963
115828 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 1
115827 1. What are the things that make you happy? 2. What are the... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 334
115826 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 1437

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04