¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think people started living in cities?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-02 309

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There is a saying, you should live in a city when you are old. It means that, there are marts, hospitals, and places for spending free time. thous places will help you for your satisfied life. The government can spend lots of budget at a city, because there are many citizens. If the government spend budget, many citizens can benefit. After developing a city, the government will spend budget for countryside. A city has more job opportunity than countryside.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for writing this essay. It was nice to see the comparison. 
I agree that living in the city is very convenient. However, you have to have enough money to live in the city especially after retirement because living in the city is quite expensive. 
Anyhow, I hope you're having a wonderful night. 
See you again on Wednesday. ^_^
~Teacher Charry

There is a saying, you should live in a city when you are old.
>> There is a saying that you should live in a city when you are old.
It means that, there are marts, hospitals, and places for spending free time. 
>> It means that, there are marts, hospitals, and places to spend one's free time.
thous places will help you for your satisfied life. 
>> These places will help you live a satisfied life. 
The government can spend lots of budget at a city, because there are many citizens. 
>> The government needs to put lots of budget in a city because there are many citizens living there. 
If the government spend budget, many citizens can benefit. 
>> If the government will spend a big budget for those, many citizens can benefit. 
After developing a city, the government will spend budget for countryside. 
>> After developing a city, the government will set aside a budget for the countryside.
A city has more job opportunity than countryside.
>> A city has more job opportunities than the countryside.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114040 How would you deal with an angry or irate customer? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 345
114039 Before corona pendemic ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 392
114038 I recommend ttaeok-bok-ki :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 297
114037 If I will go America ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 663
114036 Voice phishing ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 1
114035 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 327
114034 What are the importance of taking examinations? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 2
114033 climate changes ¹è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 377
114032 I think the most difficult thing about learning English ¹è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 1
114031 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 309
114030 What do you want to improve about your appearance? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 311
114029 Today diary ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 290
114028 I think adopting pets are much better ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 360
114027 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1022
114026 calling through the phone is better for communication than... °­* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 438
114025 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 374
114024 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 334
114023 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 421
114022 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0
114021 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04