¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think people started living in cities?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-02 401

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There is a saying, you should live in a city when you are old. It means that, there are marts, hospitals, and places for spending free time. thous places will help you for your satisfied life. The government can spend lots of budget at a city, because there are many citizens. If the government spend budget, many citizens can benefit. After developing a city, the government will spend budget for countryside. A city has more job opportunity than countryside.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for writing this essay. It was nice to see the comparison. 
I agree that living in the city is very convenient. However, you have to have enough money to live in the city especially after retirement because living in the city is quite expensive. 
Anyhow, I hope you're having a wonderful night. 
See you again on Wednesday. ^_^
~Teacher Charry

There is a saying, you should live in a city when you are old.
>> There is a saying that you should live in a city when you are old.
It means that, there are marts, hospitals, and places for spending free time. 
>> It means that, there are marts, hospitals, and places to spend one's free time.
thous places will help you for your satisfied life. 
>> These places will help you live a satisfied life. 
The government can spend lots of budget at a city, because there are many citizens. 
>> The government needs to put lots of budget in a city because there are many citizens living there. 
If the government spend budget, many citizens can benefit. 
>> If the government will spend a big budget for those, many citizens can benefit. 
After developing a city, the government will spend budget for countryside. 
>> After developing a city, the government will set aside a budget for the countryside.
A city has more job opportunity than countryside.
>> A city has more job opportunities than the countryside.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113530 Why is regret important? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 976
113529 Abebe Bikila : barefoot marathoner ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 509
113528 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113527 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 442
113526 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 425
113525 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 418
113524 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113523 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 568
113522 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 1
113521 If I don\'t work an engineer. ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 500
113520 1103. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113519 Since it\'s Halloween season, do you think ghosts are real? Why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 478
113518 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 712
113517 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 643
113516 11003 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113515 desert ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 402
113514 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 477
113513 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113512 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113511 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04