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What factors influence your choice of job?

작성자: 성*영
2022-01-03 565

회원님의 영작문

There are many things influence career choice.But if I had to choose I would like to say these two things. First my interest. If I don’t have interest in my work, I don’t like to do work. Additionally when I do my work that I have no interest, I can feel bored everyday. I love to teach children and I love children. That’s why the reason I want to be a teacher. Second if I have free time or not. After work I want to have my free time. In this time I can exercise regularly and reduce my stress level. It will be a base of tomorrow work. Additionally it will makes my life more active and healthy. When I become an elementary school teacher, I can get my free time after 4 o’clock. Third consistence. These days, we can live in one hundred years. Therefore it is important to consist my work. When I become an elementary school teacher I can teach my student until I am 65 years old. It is very long time.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Sally!^^ 

People. place, and passion are actually the things that influence me. 

People. They are the ones who told me my strengths and weaknesses. They gave me criticisms to make me better. 
Time. As time goes by, my preferences and understanding change. As we get older, we learn to sort things out so we can communicate better. 
Passion. This is something that I own to myself. I am defined by this. I always do what I love and when I do it, I give my best. 

Teacher Andrea

There are many things influence career choice.But if I had to choose I would like to say these two things.
>> There are many things that influence my career choice but if I had to choose, I'd say these three. 

First my interest. 
>> First would be my interest. 
>> OR: First is my interest. 
>> OR: First, my interest. 

If I don’t have interest in my work, I don’t like to do work. 
>> If I am not interested with what I am doing, I don't like to work. 

Additionally when I do my work that I have no interest, I can feel bored everyday. 
>> Additionally, I feel bored doing the things that I don't like. 

I love to teach children and I love children. 
>> Correct 

That’s why the reason I want to be a teacher. 
>> Correct 

Second if I have free time or not. 
>> Second is my free time. 

After work I want to have my free time. 
>> After work, I want to have my free time. 

In this time I can exercise regularly and reduce my stress level. 
>> I use my free time to exercise regularly and reduce my stress. 

It will be a base of tomorrow work. 
>> It will be a base for tomorrow's work. 

Additionally it will makes my life more active and healthy. 
>> Additionally, it makes my life more active and healthy. 
 
When I become an elementary school teacher, I can get my free time after 4 o’clock. 
>> Correct 

Third consistence.
>> Third is consistency. 

These days, we can live in one hundred years. Therefore it is important to consist my work. 
>> Now a days. people can already live up to 100 years, therefor, work consistency is important. 

When I become an elementary school teacher I can teach my student until I am 65 years old. 
>> Correct 

It is very long time. 
>> That is going to be a very long time. 
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