¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

About Han river park

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-01-03 394

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'll write about Han river park in Seoul. There are lots of Han river parks, but I'll write the most popular parks among them.
First, I'll explain why it is the most popular park. Because it is located in the middle of Seoul, called 'Yeouido'. It is one of the most developed town in Seoul, so there are lots of people live in it and there lots of service centers. In my opinion, because this area is so famous or good for picnic, lots of people go to picnic to here.
Second, I will write about other information about it. Lots of festivals are hosted by government. However, because of this festival and lots of people, COVID-19 was spread in it. About 20 people were infected in this place. So now government closed down it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel! Thank you for doing your homework! Please take note of the corrections.


- Teacher Debbie


I'll write about Han river park in Seoul.
>> I'll write about Han River Park in Seoul.

There are lots of Han river parks, but I'll write the most popular parks among them.
>> There are lots of Han River Parks, but I'll write about the most popular among them.

First, I'll explain why it is the most popular park. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Because it is located in the middle of Seoul, called 'Yeouido'.
>> This park is located in Yeouido, which is in the middle of Seoul.

 It is one of the most developed town in Seoul, so there are lots of people live in it and there lots of service centers. 
>> Yeouido is one of the most developed towns in Seoul, so there are lots of people who live in it, and there are lots of service centers. 

In my opinion, because this area is so famous or good for picnic, lots of people go to picnic to here.
>> Because this area is very famous for picnics, lots of people go to the park.

Second, I will write about other information about it. 
>> I'll write more information about it.

Lots of festivals are hosted by government. 
>> Lots of festivals are hosted by the government. 

However, because of this festival and lots of people, COVID-19 was spread in it.
>> However, because of these festivals and the number of visitors, the COVID-19 infections spread.

 About 20 people were infected in this place. So now government closed down it.
>> About 20 people were infected in this place, so the government closed it down.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114805 Homework Ȳ*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 507
114804 homework Ȳ*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 394
114803 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 1
114802 Have you had any bad travel experiences? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 1
114801 Write about your greatest achievement. ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 352
114800 If you could change one thing about your current house to make... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 274
114799 video conference ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 315
114798 Do you choose your friends? Why or why not? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 0
114797 what are the things you need to prepare for a trip? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 2
114796 what I do when I have a stomachache ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 259
114795 What is your biggest regret in your life and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 0
114794 Are you good at giving advice? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 302
114793 What will be your New Year\'s Resolution this coming new year? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 870
114792 What is your favorite physical characteristic? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 0
114791 My dream vacation ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 341
114790 How will you organize all that you need to do before Dec.17? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 0
114789 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 352
114788 Kids don\'t have to go to malls, how to compose(1) ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 405
114787 My countryside is.... ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 411
114786 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04