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What are the beautiful places that you have visited in Korea?

작성자: 김*윤
2022-01-03 385

회원님의 영작문

Although there are a lot of beautiful places in Korea, I would introduce only three places. this is because if I write all of the places, it would be too long to write here. First, I want to tell you about Gyeongbokgung Palace. It is the old building that was created about 700 years ago. I love this palace because there are a lot of people who are wearing hanbok(Korean traditional clothes). I feel excited whenever I meet that people. Second, my lovely place is the Haeinsa Temple. This temple has the treasure which name is the Tripitaka Koreana. I felt serious when I saw the treasure. This is because it is the the complete collection of Buddhist scriptures carved on over eighty thousand woodblocks that is created by Buddhist monk to wish the victory of war a long time ago. Finally, I think that the Seoul are center is a beautiful place. This art center has a lot of artwork of many different creator. it entertain me to see various kind of artwork in a same place.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Jean! Thank you for sharing about these three beautiful places in Korea. I was inspired while reading the details that you mentioned about them. I agree that Seoul is indeed a beautiful place. It's tempting me to go to Korea (If I just have a chance).  Again, I appreciate you writing this essay. See you later and keep safe!

~T. Annie




Although there are a lot of beautiful places in Korea, I would introduce only three places.
>>Correct!
 this is because if I write all of the places, it would be too long to write here.
>>Because if I write all of the places, it would be too long to write here.
First, I want to tell you about Gyeongbokgung Palace. 
>>Correct!
It is the old building that was created about 700 years ago. 
>> It is the old building which was created about 700 years ago. 
I love this palace because there are a lot of people who are wearing hanbok(Korean traditional clothes).
>>Correct!
 I feel excited whenever I meet that people.  
>> I feel excited whenever I see  people who are wearing hanbok.
 Second, my lovely place is the Haeinsa Temple. 
>>Correct!
This temple has the treasure which name is the Tripitaka Koreana. 
>>This temple has a treasure  named Tripitaka Koreana. 
I felt serious when I saw the treasure. This is because it is the the complete collection of Buddhist scriptures carved on over eighty thousand woodblocks that is created by Buddhist monk to wish the victory of war a long time ago.
>> I felt the seriousness when I saw the treasure, because this is the complete collection of Buddhist scriptures carved on over eighty thousand woodblocks that were created by  Buddhist monks to wish the victory of war a long time ago.
 Finally, I think that the Seoul are center is a beautiful place. This art center has a lot of artwork of many different creator. it entertain me to see various kind of artwork in a same place.
>>  Finally,  the center/capital city of South Korea which is Soul is also a beautiful place.  
This art center has a lot of artwork of many different creator.
>>This art center has a lot of artworks of different artists.
 it entertain me to see various kind of artwork in a same place. 
>> It entertains me to see various kinds of artworks in the same place.
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