¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the best way for a country to bring in more tourists?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-01-05 713

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If our country lets people around the world know well about tourist attractions in our country, people can enjoy our tourist attractions more easily. It is because the more we know about it, the more we can enjoy it. We need to make more Youtube contents introducing Korean cultures in English.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve! The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Terrific! However, remember to use pronouns to replace nouns in your sentences. 

- Debbie


If our country lets people around the world know well about tourist attractions in our country, people can enjoy our tourist attractions more easily. 
>> If we let people from around the world know well about the tourist attractions in our country, they can enjoy them more easily. 

It is because the more we know about it, the more we can enjoy it.
>> It is because the more we know about something, the more we can enjoy it.

We need to make more Youtube contents introducing Korean cultures in English.
>> We need to make more YouTube contents introducing Korean culture in English.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117167 company description ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 1022
117166 What is a perfect family for you ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 980
117165 If you could be an animal, what would you be? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 780
117164 For you, what is the most dangerous sport? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 857
117163 lesson 11 ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 998
117162 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 1249
117161 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 0
117160 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 1338
117159 Just with my friends:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 932
117158 2022.3.8 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 517
117157 What is your all-time favorite movie and what can you learn from... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 637
117156 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 2
117155 Do you think becoming a lawyer is a steady profession? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 4
117154 What causes illiteracy? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 3
117153 How do you make your day exciting? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 1108
117152 3/8 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 667
117151 What do you think of the one child policy? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 2
117150 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 722
117149 What is your all-time favorite movie and what can you learn from... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 1385
117148 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 914

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04