¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the best way for a country to bring in more tourists?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-01-05 627

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If our country lets people around the world know well about tourist attractions in our country, people can enjoy our tourist attractions more easily. It is because the more we know about it, the more we can enjoy it. We need to make more Youtube contents introducing Korean cultures in English.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve! The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Terrific! However, remember to use pronouns to replace nouns in your sentences. 

- Debbie


If our country lets people around the world know well about tourist attractions in our country, people can enjoy our tourist attractions more easily. 
>> If we let people from around the world know well about the tourist attractions in our country, they can enjoy them more easily. 

It is because the more we know about it, the more we can enjoy it.
>> It is because the more we know about something, the more we can enjoy it.

We need to make more Youtube contents introducing Korean cultures in English.
>> We need to make more YouTube contents introducing Korean culture in English.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116223 The busiest day. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 2
116222 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 568
116221 What is your greatest achievement as a student and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 290
116220 If you can move to another country, which one would you pick and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 0
116219 What is the best lesson you have learned from one of your... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 0
116218 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 0
116217 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 431
116216 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 922
116215 Can you forgive your friends easily when they did something bad... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 502
116214 Shorter Impatient ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 739
116213 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 552
116212 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 366
116211 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 1
116210 measures to protect and improve the mental health of children... È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 1
116209 What was the most important thing your parents taught you? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 2
116208 Being Kind ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 433
116207 What are the things you consider important in life? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 3
116206 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 504
116205 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 626
116204 Is there a song that makes you emotional? Which song is it and... ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04