¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the best way for a country to bring in more tourists?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-01-05 891

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If our country lets people around the world know well about tourist attractions in our country, people can enjoy our tourist attractions more easily. It is because the more we know about it, the more we can enjoy it. We need to make more Youtube contents introducing Korean cultures in English.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve! The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Terrific! However, remember to use pronouns to replace nouns in your sentences. 

- Debbie


If our country lets people around the world know well about tourist attractions in our country, people can enjoy our tourist attractions more easily. 
>> If we let people from around the world know well about the tourist attractions in our country, they can enjoy them more easily. 

It is because the more we know about it, the more we can enjoy it.
>> It is because the more we know about something, the more we can enjoy it.

We need to make more Youtube contents introducing Korean cultures in English.
>> We need to make more YouTube contents introducing Korean culture in English.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116713 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1174
116712 Choose the correct plural. ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 685
116711 2022.2.22 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 628
116710 What would be the most satisfying career for you? why? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116709 Should parents help their children plan their future? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 891
116708 Do you love to travel? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 4
116707 2/22 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 2306
116706 coffee shops ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 3
116705 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 2
116704 What is your idea of the best travel experience? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 794
116703 What do you think is the worst invention ever and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 0
116702 My electronic device ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1114
116701 If you can pick a superpower that you can have, what would it be... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 969
116700 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1158
116699 Do you think school uniforms make social differences smaller? Do... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 864
116698 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1607
116697 Action movies ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 3
116696 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 887
116695 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 1015
116694 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 717

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04