¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the best way for a country to bring in more tourists?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-01-05 896

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If our country lets people around the world know well about tourist attractions in our country, people can enjoy our tourist attractions more easily. It is because the more we know about it, the more we can enjoy it. We need to make more Youtube contents introducing Korean cultures in English.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve! The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Terrific! However, remember to use pronouns to replace nouns in your sentences. 

- Debbie


If our country lets people around the world know well about tourist attractions in our country, people can enjoy our tourist attractions more easily. 
>> If we let people from around the world know well about the tourist attractions in our country, they can enjoy them more easily. 

It is because the more we know about it, the more we can enjoy it.
>> It is because the more we know about something, the more we can enjoy it.

We need to make more Youtube contents introducing Korean cultures in English.
>> We need to make more YouTube contents introducing Korean culture in English.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115890 Writing correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 0
115889 Writing correction - 1 ±è*¿µ ÁøÇàÁß 2022-01-25 0
115888 Writing correction - 1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 0
115887 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 484
115886 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115885 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115884 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115883 Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 752
115882 sorry for absent °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 0
115881 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1808
115880 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 826
115879 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 278
115878 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 692
115877 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1412
115876 Hi ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 936
115875 TV show~ ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 9
115874 What is a good conversation for you? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 2
115873 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 329
115872 Homework (1/21) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 2
115871 When I am upset. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04