¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Music can make people to one

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-01-05 260

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the answer is yes. For example, in the case of Arirang that is Korean traditional song, when Korean listen to this music, most of them cry. I think the melody and the lyrics are very good. In some TV program, some pianist arranged it and play it in front of audiences. When the audiences listened to it, all of them cried. I think it means most of people become one or have same feeling that is sad together. Though it isn't correct reason, but I'm sure that music can make people to one. In my experience, when I listened to the same classical music with my friend, my friend and I felt that we are the best friend. Because of it, I think music can improve the friend relationships. In conclusion, music affects lots of good things to us.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel!  Thank you for doing your homework. You were able to make lengthy sentences. Your answer is impressive. Keep up the good job!

- Teacher Debbie


In my opinion, the answer is yes.
>> In my opinion, yes. Music brings people together.

For example, in the case of Arirang that is Korean traditional song, when Korean listen to this music, most of them cry. 
>> Take Arirang for example. When Koreans listen to this traditional song, most of them cry.

I think the melody and the lyrics are very good. 
>> This is a good sentence.

In some TV program, some pianist arranged it and play it in front of audiences.
>> In some TV programs, some pianists arranged and played it in front of an audience.

When the audiences listened to it, all of them cried.
>> When the audience listened to it, all of them cried.

I think it means most of people become one or have same feeling that is sad together.
>> I think it means most people get the same feeling when they listen to music together.

Though it isn't correct reason, but I'm sure that music can make people to one.
>> Though that isn't the real reason, I'm sure that music can bring people together.

 In my experience, when I listened to the same classical music with my friend, my friend and I felt that we are the best friend. 
>> In my experience, when I listened to the same classical music with my friend, my friend and I felt that we were best friends. 

Because of it, I think music can improve the friend relationships. 
>> I think music can improve our relationship with our friends.

In conclusion, music affects lots of good things to us.
>> In conclusion, music brings lots of good things to us.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115336 2022.1.6 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 806
115335 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 267
115334 If you can cook one food every day, What would it be and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 233
115333 my compostion related to work ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115332 I can enjoy these five food in winter! ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 155
115331 Do you think that children these days have a better or worse... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 428
115330 Should we pay attention on the food we eat? Why? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1
115329 Homework (1/6) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115328 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 363
115327 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115326 According to my experience.... ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1137
115325 What preparation will you do before an interview to make a good... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 154
115324 Yut game!! ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 904
115323 Writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115322 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 202
115321 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 427
115320 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 3
115319 A bouquet of flowers ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115318 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 850
115317 If you can invent something, what would it be? °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04