¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The value of friendship

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¿Ï
2022-01-06 574

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Humans are social animals. Since we born, we meet numerous people such as family, friends, lover , co-workers, etc.
Among them, it is no exaggeration to say that friends have the most influence on individual values. When we was in school, we can learn how to live and communicate with other people through friends in school which is a kind of small society. In addition, most of friends are same age group with me so I can tell my concerns or any talks which even I can't tell to my parents. Finally, when I have a big problem in my life, friends will help and comfort me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, James! Thanks for sharing your overview about the value of friendship. I admire you on how you value your friends this much. They must be  proud of you then. I wish I have a friend like you. I appreciate you for writing this essay. Keep it up! See you later.

~T. Annie




Humans are social animals.
>>Correct!
 Since we born, we meet numerous people such as family, friends, lover , co-workers, etc.
>>Since we were born, we meet numerous people such as family, friends, lovers , co-workers, and etc.
Among them, it is no exaggeration to say that friends have the most influence on individual values.
>>Among them, it is not an exaggeration to say that friends have the most influence on individual values.
 When we was in school, we can learn how to live and communicate with other people through friends in school which is a kind of small society.
>>  When we were in school, we could learn how to live and communicate with other people through friends which is a kind of small society.
In addition, most of friends are same age group with me so I can tell my concerns or any talks which even I can't tell to my parents. 
>>In addition, most of my friends are my age so I can tell them my concerns or discuss any topics which I can't tell my parents.
Finally, when I have a big problem in my life, friends will help and comfort me.
>>Finally, when I'm in trouble , they  help and comfort me.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114618 What are the best and worst things about the convenience store... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 379
114617 What would you like to change in the education system in South... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 310
114616 If you could stop time, what would you do and why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114615 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 467
114614 ¿µ¾îÀϱ⠹®¹ý ¿À·ù±³Á¤ ¹× ´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥ÇöÀ¸·Î ±³Á¤... ÇÏ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 8
114613 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114612 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 331
114611 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114610 What is a successful life? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 344
114609 Have you ever tried commuting in a foreign country? Write about... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 533
114608 12/9 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 322
114607 What do you like about the city you are living in? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 379
114606 What would you like to change in the education system in South... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 282
114605 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 491
114604 my homework ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114603 Do you like meeting new people? Why is that? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 921
114602 What do you consider in a restaurant when eating out? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114601 What do you think is the worst collection that a person can... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114600 In south korea high school culture ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 308
114599 Especially be careful to language ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 342

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04